


Everything's Coming Up Roses

by Evren Rambunctious (DHume), JaneCrocker (DHume)



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-01-16 16:35:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1354231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DHume/pseuds/Evren%20Rambunctious, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DHume/pseuds/JaneCrocker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set a few months after LSODM, Darquesse and Valkyrie have a mental standoff for control of their body. Only one can win, but the outcome is uncertain...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Darquesse hovered over the blackened field.  
The cornstalks smoldered, thick smoke everywhere despite the rain that began to drizzle. Here and there lay the scorched outlines of the men who’d come to take her down, dark marks on the ground.  
Darquesse didn’t like the rain. Her good mood from earlier suddenly evaporated. Leaving the evidence of the little game behind, she rose up into the clouds, palms outstretched. She would vaporise them out of existence.  
“Rain, rain, go away, come again another day,” she murmured to herself under her breath, and laughed. ‘help me,’ she added, as if as an afterthought.  
Darquesse’s eyes widened, and then narrowed in annoyance.  
“Shut up, Valkyrie. Go away. no,’ she answered herself without pause. This was getting ridiculous.  
“If anyone could hear us right now, let me out, they’d think I was mad!” Darquesse forced a laugh. “Now, there’s a thought. skulduggery will kill you, if there was a pilot up here, I wonder if they’d see me…”  
She smiled.  
“What fun.”  
The girl and her echo sped off into the sky, looking for a plane to gremlinise.

\---------

Darquesse had a headache.  
It wasn’t caused by blood vessels, or dehydrated cells, or the thin air thousands of feet up. There was nothing she could do. Valkyrie, her pathetic double, was causing it. Each time Darquesse had tried to squeeze her out of existence completely she’d blacked out, and had reached the conclusion that Valkyrie had squirreled herself away in some part of Darquesse’s brain, something that she could keep herself safe with. Not that it did any good. The headaches didn’t last long, and Darquesse never heard Valkyrie in her own voice any more.  
Soon, she was confident, Valkyrie would die out. She just needed a helping hand.  
In answer to this, Valkyrie sent a particularly nasty stabbing pain through Darquesses’ left temple. She slapped herself before she could think, and a faint feeling of amusement washed through her.  
Darquesse snarled.  
“I’ll get rid of you! just you wait. You’re pathetic-“  
A dark shape rose out of the clouds. Man-shaped. A feeling of hope that was not Darquesse’s surged through her. She opened her mouth to reprimand Valkyrie, to accost the shape, and then

 

 

 

 

“Valkyrie.”  
That word. It sounded familiar. It sounded like… a history class, something about old norse battle gods. The harsh v and k, like marching soldiers. It sounded terrible. Who would name themselves after something so terrible?  
“Valkyrie. Valkyrie. Valkyrie, hello.”  
The marching soldiers seemed to be all over her brain now. Her head ached fiercely. What had happened to it? Did it always hurt like this? She didn’t know. She didn’t know who she was. She couldn’t see, or feel her limbs. There was only the dark, and the weight of something she knew must be her body, and that deep, sad voice.  
“Valkyrie, if you can hear me, try to move.”  
Was the voice talking to her?  
It seemed urgent, and close. She decided it was. Maybe she was miss-hearing it. That must have been it. If you knocked your head, you were bound to think some funny things about your old history classes. She’d obviously been jumbled up.  
Could she do what the voice asked?  
She focussed on her arms and legs. Both of each, check. She could feel the right number of fingers and toes; she tried to twitch a thumb.  
The voice - to her right, she could tell now- made a noise of astonishment. A light, bony hand touched her forearm.  
“Valkyrie, you’re safe now. She’s gone.”  
She concentrated on fluttering her fingers again. Instead her eyelids flew open, revealing a hospital room, complete with skeleton dressed in a suit.  
A skeleton which was touching her.  
She couldn’t help herself. She screamed.  
The skeleton reached toward her, and she screamed again, and kept screaming, until a hidden alarm started to beep. A man rushed in and came toward her. He held out his hand and leather straps snaked around her limbs, and she screamed even louder, until a syringe was produced and pushed into her arm.

\---------

She couldn’t open her eyes. There was a scratchy woollen scarf around them, this time.  
“The good doctor says you’ve lost your memory. That’s a pity; I’m rather odd-looking, and I hate meeting new people.”  
It was the voice again. The voice of the skeleton? She didn’t know if she was safe in here, so pretended to be asleep instead.  
“My name is Skulduggery Pleasant. I’m a skeleton. You didn’t seem very pleased about that yesterday. I’m sorry if I gave you a fright.”  
The man sounded like he would be smiling wryly, if she could see him.  
“Your name is Valkyrie Cain. You’re a detective, as am I. We’re partners. You were recently taken over by… No, you recently had trouble with a split personality. No. Damnit. You recently shared a body with someone, Darquesse, who had taken it over. She’s gone, now. She’s not coming back. You’re okay. We thought you wouldn’t be. We thought you were dead. But you’re fine.”  
There was the sound of a chuckle, but it was humourless.  
“Well. You’re not fine. You’ve lost your memory, and you’re probably badly frightened. But we’ll fix that. I’m, I’m rambling. Do you have any questions? I know you’re awake, you know.”  
She swallowed, tried to wet her dry mouth.  
“Am I German?”  
As soon as the words rasped out of her mouth she knew that, like the voice, her accent was Irish. Why would Irish parents name their children after a Norse God?  
The voice coughed.  
“I’m afraid your name’s explanation will have to wait a bit. It’s a nickname, of sorts. Would you like some water?”  
“Yes please.”  
There was the sound of rustling cloth, and then a touch at her elbow. “Here you go.”  
She went to take the glass, and brushed the man’s gloves. Why would anyone wear gloves inside?  
The water was the best thing she’d ever tasted. When she put it down, the gloved hand tapped at her elbow again. She passed it to him.  
“Can I take off my blindfold?”  
“Hmm. Will you promise not to scream?”  
“Depends if you’re really a skeleton,” she asked. “What’s my real name?”  
“I am a skeleton, but please don’t freak out. If it makes you feel better, think of it as a costume. And your real name is Valkyrie Cain.”  
The voice sounded hurt. “You’re very- you were very insistent on that.”  
“It seems a bit of a stupid name to me,” she complained, to the dark room at large. “I don’t sound German, or European.”  
She reached up to the back of her head, and found long, uncurly hair. She wondered what colour it was.  
The scarf was knotted too tightly.  
“Here, let me,” the voice offered, and those thin, clever fingers touched lightly on her head and untangled the mess as gently as could be. She reached up to take the scarf away from him, and she heard him step away, as if her hands had burnt him.  
“Ready?” she asked. The voice snorted.  
“Ready.”  
She lifted the scarf from her eyes, blinking as the room revealed itself once more. The man was standing with his back to her - adjusting his costume, or whatever he’d said - and so she looked at the bare walls, her clean white sheets, the black iron bedframe. Anything but at herself. That she savoured until last.  
The coverlet was white, with whitework embroidery in the shape of little fans, or flowers. She wasn’t sure which.  
Her arms lay against them. The muscled, brown skin was a welcome relief from what she’d expected. Hazy memories of hospital dramas had left an indelible mark on her, whoever she was. Her nails were wide and short, her fingers slim and long. Her arms had a light dusting of brown hair on them. She refused to reach up to her head to compare, instead studying her arms some more. They were far more muscled than she’d ever seen a real woman’s. Was she a body builder? A panic washed over her. Who was she? Why couldn’t she remember anything? She began to breathe quickly, shallowly, like she was trapped in a small space and was running out of air.  
“How old am I?”  
The man in the corner’s shoulders sagged. “You’re nineteen. You had your birthday while you were unconscious. It was only recently, though.”  
She sighed. At least she wasn’t some professional bodybuilder, then. But-  
“Aren’t I little young to be a detective?”  
“I can’t answer these questions, yet. I’m sorry, but it won’t work. Can I turn around?”  
She nodded, then realised that he couldn’t see her.  
“Yes, okay.”  
Slowly, the man turned round. He was really a skeleton, as she’d seen him in her nightmareish awakening yesterday. There seemed to be no way for him to move, or talk, or be hidden inside a costume. She tried not to panic again.  
“Are we secret agents? Is that what this is? Is that why I have super-muscles and you’re a skeleton?”  
She gasped. “Are you Hellboy?”  
He cocked his head - his skull - at her, the bone white and gleaming.  
“What’s that?”  
“I… I don’t know. It just slipped out,” she admitted, embarrassed. The skeleton visibly brightened.  
“That’s excellent, Valkyrie. That means your memories will be returning soon, I hope. Actually…”  
He reached a gloved hand into a pocket and brought out a smartphone. He tapped on it and turned to the left, obviously calling someone. She wondered how he could use it without skin, or body heat. They waited awkwardly together as the call connected, and she busied herself with pulling the covers up to expose her feet - wasn’t it weird, seeing her feet for the first time, like a baby? - and to inspect her palms, wrists, elbows, stomach. She was wearing a standard hospital gown, and her hair turned out to be what looked like natural black.  
The man finished his call.  
“I believe you’ll finally have your answers.”  
The man she recognised from when she first woke up arrived, holding a large pendant looped round his wrist like a rosary. He had a grubby white overcoat that looked at odds with the white, bright room.  
“Skulduggery.” He nodded. The skeleton nodded back.  
The man walked up to her, looked into her eyes. “Do you remember anything about yourself, Valkyrie Cain? Anything about your personal past?”  
Her lips were dry again. She swallowed, and licked them.  
“I remember little things, like TV shows and school lessons. Nothing else, though.”  
He nodded to himself, face solemn. “That’s fine. I’ll be able to recover the memories momentarily. If you’ll just relax and hold still, close your eyes…”  
She lay back, closing her eyes again. She felt a cool weight on her head, as if he were pressing his fingers to her scalp. After a while, the cold feeling started to feel uncomfortable, too cold, like a bag of frozen peas left too long on a sprain. She couldn’t take it any longer.  
“Stop,” she said, opening her eyes and sitting up.  
The effect was instantaneous. The skeleton was suddenly at her side, shielding her from the doctor, who had gone for the syringe again. Was she really so dangerous? And why did the skeleton want to protect her from the doctor if she was?  
“It’s alright.” The skeleton’s voice was deep, soothing. It calmed her instantly. It seemed more familiar than it had been before the doctor arrived— she knew that voice. This was Skulduggery. Skulduggery, her best friend.  
“Skulduggery,” Valkyrie said, reaching out for him with a smile, and then she remembered everything else.

She remembered the Brides, and the blood, and the pain, and Darquesse promising to help her. She remembered the look on the face of the woman she’d killed. She remembered being nothing more than a voice in the back of Darquesse’s mind, watching those people die. The people burn, and disintegrate, and perish, and become nothing more than pieces of dead flesh on a battleground. She remembered China, incandescent, and dying. She remembered.  
“Ravel. God, Ghastly, and Shudder, and China, and, oh god. Oh god. Darquesse. I killed her, Skulduggery. I, oh god.”  
She bent over the pretty white bed, and was sick.  
The Sanctuary doctor looked green himself. He hurried out. Skulduggery was there, paying the vomit no mind, holding her hair back, passing her a glass of conjured water.  
“I thought I’d lost you. Again, I mean. You didn’t know who you were.”  
Valkyrie took the water.  
“My birthday. My family. How are they? Stephanie…”  
She had too many questions. Skulduggery shook his head. “They’re fine. You can’t go near them, though. She has them on lockdown. You… You’re in a bit of trouble, actually.”  
“Darquesse…”  
“No, we know you’re not her. She’s gone. I got… I got rid of her. But mages aren’t really willing to understand that she isn’t you, even if you’re harmless. You’re going to have to lie low for a while.”  
“But not at my family’s.”  
“No. My house is fine, and we can all fill you in on what you’ve missed. China’s Grand Mage, by the way.”  
“Just what she always wanted.” Valkyrie smiled, and cracked her dry lips. Skulduggery took the glass from her and conjured more water.  
“I saw her burn. I’m going to remember the smell of it for the rest of my life,” Valkyrie added quietly.  
“Let’s go. Am I fine now, or was I hurt?”  
Skulduggery shook his head.  
“You’re fine. We can leave now. Someone will clean this all up.”  
Valkyrie moved to the other side of the bed and swung her legs over, pushing the covers off. She stood up and stumbled. Skulduggery caught her, his arms around her shoulders.  
“Oh, you’ve been asleep for a while. Stupid, I didn’t think.”  
“It’s okay,” Valkyrie managed. The room spun around her. “Help me? I just really want to go.”  
Skulduggery threaded her arms around his shoulders and caught her around the waist, stooping to her level. Together they walked out of the room, Valkyrie trying not to flinch as the cold tiles hit her feet. They went up a short flight of steps and came to what looked like a field hospital set up in an office building, with shower curtain partitions and machines nestled on plywood desks.  
They walked into a lift. Valkyrie didn’t have the strength to do anything but lean on the walls and close her eyes. When they reached the carpark and the doors binged open, she couldn’t even move.  
“Valkyrie.”  
Her eyes snapped open. She was in a lift, not a bed, and she remembered him this time. Skulduggery was standing by the doors, holding them open.  
“Shall I carry you?”  
She nodded. He went to her, put his arms behind her neck and knees, cloth-covered bone clacking against the lift’s wooden panelling, and then he lifted her into his arms and walked quickly to a black Toyota Prius. He opened the door, and set her down in its passenger seat. It smelt of pine and industrial cleaner. He adjusted the seat until it lay almost flat, then shut the door and got in on his own side.  
“We’re a long way out. Go to sleep, if you want.”  
“I’ve had enough of that,” Valkyrie snapped before she could help herself, but she drifted off almost immediately.


	2. Chapter 2

“You’re going to have to go undercover.”  
China Sorrows, Ireland’s Grand Mage and part of a Council of one, sat back in Skulduggery highbacked winged chair and pursed her lips, shaking her head.   
“Undercover for what?” Valkyrie asked, starting from her place on the sofa next to Skulduggery. China’s bodyguard, a formidable Nigerian man she’d managed to charm out of the English Sanctuary, moved toward her. China tutted.   
“For goodness’ sake, Darquesse has been neutralised. She’s gone. If she weren’t, Skulduggery or I would have already killed her.”  
She turned to smile at Valkyrie.   
“I don’t mean anything so boring as witness protection, Valkyrie. You can still keep in contact with us. I just think that staying away from that psychotic reflection of yours, and any riled up mage vigilantes, would be a good idea. Think of it as a holiday.”  
“A holiday?” Valkyrie echoed. “Could Skulduggery come with me?”  
China’s eyes flickered to him, then back to Valkyrie.  
“Ah… No. We were thinking about this sabbatical taking place amongst the mortals, and Skulduggery is a tad conspicuous.”  
“What, so I’m supposed to, I don’t know, travel Europe? Get a job as a waitress in Newcastle? I want to see my family, China, and if I can’t, I don’t want to be dumped in some random mortal town with nothing to do.”  
Beside her, Skulduggery shifted. She’d almost forgotten how still he could be.  
“I was thinking, university,” he said in a low voice. “You’ve missed out on so much already.”  
Valkyrie’s mouth gaped a little. China blinked rapidly a few times, which was as close as she would come to expressing shock.   
“University?” she and Valkyrie asked at the same time.   
“I’ve barely been in school as it is!” Valkyrie added.   
“But the reflection went,” he reminded her. “You remember it all. Surely there’s a subject that interests you?”  
“I suppose- but I never applied, or even took the exams. My reflection did.”  
China, fully recovered, waved a hand airily.   
“What’s the point of friends in high places if you can’t use them to shamelessly exploit institutions? I can get you papers.”  
Skulduggery looked at her.   
“Valkyrie, this is the best solution. You need to start a new, mortal life. At least this way you can meet new people. Start again. Be a real teenager, at least until this all blows over.”  
China smirked. “What about History? We’ve lived through most of it ourselves.”  
Valkyrie was tempted.   
“It would be something to do, I suppose.”  
China could see she had an in.  
“And doesn’t university start in a week or so? How convenient.”  
Valkyrie had to laugh at that. It was all moving too fast.  
“Create a new university student in a week? How are you going to do that?”  
“If it’s one thing I can do, Valkyrie Cain, it’s broker information. Especially information about a new student of….”  
She broke off, looking expectantly at Valkyrie.   
“Where would you like to go? Oxford, perhaps?”  
Valkyrie shook her head. “I could never keep up. I’d like to go to a big city.”  
Skulduggery nodded. “I like it. A place to blend in, meet new people.”  
“London, perhaps? Edinburgh?”  
“London,” Valkyrie decided. She’d been, once, to see the Palace on a school trip.   
“That’s settled, then.” China stood up and walked toward where Valkyrie sat, curled up, and offered her a hand up. Her bodyguard hovered by the arm of the sofa.   
“We’d better get packing.”  
Skulduggery made a sound something like a snort, if he’d had a nose.  
“And why do you care? Can’t Valkyrie and I do it?”  
China fixed him with a look. “Valkyrie needs to prepare to become a normal, mortal teen girl. She needs cooking things, for her flat. She needs clothes that aren’t bulletproof. You can’t cook, and you only wear,” she faltered, her eyes widening slightly, “boring clothes.”  
“Right,” Skulduggery rasped. “I’ll get my card, then.”  
He stood up and walked toward one of his many coat-hooks. China helped Valkyrie up.   
“Cancel all of my appointments,” she told her bodyguard. “And tell me where the nearest IKEA is.”

\--------

Valkyrie fidgeted with her short dress. It had a full skirt, and a fitted bodice, and it flounced. She hadn’t worn clothes that flounced in a long time. Everything that China had bought her looked like it had come straight from the pages of a glossy magazine. She hadn’t really dressed for herself since she was twelve, and the colours and fabrics that weren’t leather or utilitarian unnerved her a little. Despite China’s excellent taste, nothing fit perfectly either. Valkyrie forced herself not to think about that, and started worrying about what would happen when they got there, instead.  
What was it going to be like? She’d not had to deal with packs of teenagers in forever. China had enrolled her at a university twenty minutes away from the touristy centre of London, and as her car, filled with Valkyrie things, Skulduggery, and China herself drove through the pretty houses of the Southern area of London - one of the posh areas, Valkyrie had found out in her research - Valkyrie began to worry in earnest. She clutched her papers proclaiming her as one Valerie Kane in her hand, a passport, driver’s license and bank account among them. China and Skulduggery were to be her parents. Valerie was a wealthy student from Dublin - Gordon’s money and China’s shopping spree had made sure of that.   
What if people hated her for it? She was going to be a fish out of water. She’d spent the past few days feverishly looking up everything about London, music, fashion, and everything about being a teenager that she didn’t know. In forty minutes, China and Skulduggery would drive off and leave her alone. She’d have to make friends, or she was doomed. She was determined not to mess it up.  
She fiddled with her dress again, looking at everywhere but Skulduggery, sitting in the back of China’s car beside her. For once, neither he or Valkyrie had said anything almost the entire journey. He hadn’t even spoken when they stopped for McDonalds around Somerset, though he usually loved to chide Valkyrie for eating such unhealthy food, and in a car, no less.  
Soon enough they were there. China’s bodyguard parked the car and they got out, Skulduggery activating his facade. He popped the boot and began hauling out Valkyrie’s masses of bags, not saying a word. China came toward Valkyrie and immediately started fussing with her hair, playing the part of the anxious mother perfectly. She’d even taken the trouble to tear up, her eyes sparkling a little.  
Valkyrie hugged her. “You’re taking this whole thing a little too seriously, aren’t you?” she murmured into the shorter woman’s hair. China shrugged microscopically, and she released her.   
They went to help Skulduggery with the bags. The residential building they’d followed directions to, James House, was full of teenagers milling around, some with parents, others not. Valkyrie hoisted a bag of kitchen equipment over her shoulder and went toward them, breathing deeply. She could do this.   
They walked up to the main entrance, where a smiling man in a university-branded shirt was handing out keycards. Valkyrie went to him.  
“Hi! New student?” He asked enthusiastically. “Have you got your Student ID number?”  
Valkyrie put the bag down and flipped through her sheaf of papers.  
“Here,” she said, handing it to him.   
“Ah, here we are. There are your keys. You’re 23a!” He added. Valkyrie thought he was far too cheerful. She took the keys and walked back down the steps.  
“I’m flat 23,” she told China and Skulduggery, who had the rest of the bags. “Come on.”  
Skulduggery nodded, but didn’t say a word. They made their way into the foyer, past the milling students, and came to the waiting line for the lift. Valkyrie had never had to queue for a lift before. As they waited to arrive, more students came into the corridor, already chattering away at each other. Valkyrie looked at the floor, her bags, the green little floor numbers blinking beside the lift. Anywhere but at Skulduggery and China.   
As the lift arrived and everyone started to crowd in, she caught the look on Skulduggery’s facade. It wasn’t the pained neutral he usually wore when trying not to let it slip into its natural grin. Today’s square-jawed face looked immeasurably sad. He looked away immediately.  
Three girls with aircraft luggage crowded in afterward, sealing them in. Valkyrie was over a head taller than all of them. Were all girls her age this short? Then she remembered that she could be a year older than them. She’d spent the year after school ended as the voice in the back of the mind of a mass murderer.   
At last, they reached the girls’ floors. They spilled out of the lift, taking all of the air with them.   
Valkyrie moved away from where she’d been pressed up against China, inspected her keycard. It had a couple of real keys attached to the fob. She studied them, and the extra papers the door guy had given her. This one was for her mailbox, this one was for the flat’s door. The lift opened again.  
“Your floor,” China explained. They took the bags and walked out. There were four flat doors on the floor. The door closest to the window was marked ’23’, and Valkyrie fitted the larger of the keys into the lock. Her hands shook.  
She got the door open and was greeted by a thin corridor, and eight more doors. The first five were flat and unadorned, like the entrance, but the other three were of a different material. One led into a kitchen. China and Skulduggery walked in behind her. China tutted at the flaking paint on the radiators.   
“Student life, Valkyrie. Charming.”  
Her door was the closest. Valkyrie unlocked that one and saw a bed, a desk, a pinboard, some shelves - all standard dormitory fare. Everything was blank, waiting for her to fill it. She dumped the bags on the bed, and China did the same. Skulduggery put his beside it.   
“I’ll be outside,” China said. “I need to use the bathroom, if it’s not too horrific.”  
She shut the door behind her. Valkyrie couldn’t stop staring at the tiny headboard, the bare mattress. The could almost count the stripes on it.  
Skulduggery’s clothes rustled behind her. She turned, and saw him, facade-less.  
“I can’t do it,” she said in a small voice.  
He stepped toward her and enveloped her in a hug. She hugged him back, tighter than she’d every hugged anyone. She squeezed the clever tailoring until she could feel every rib, until his collarbone poked at her cheek under the suit padding.  
“Don’t leave me.”   
“Valkyrie, I-“  
“I know you have to. I just don’t want you to go again.”  
They both shifted even closer, understanding. Skulduggery rubbed soothing circles into her back and held her as she started to cry. They didn’t move for a long time. Valkyrie just stood, neck craned, shaking as the tears came.  
“What if you lived here?” She whispered, knowing it was useless. “You don’t need to sleep or eat. You could be the skeleton in my closet.” She sniffed, and pulled away a bit, looked up at him. “I’ve got your shirt all wet.”  
His answer was barely audible.   
“I don’t mind.”  
“You probably have to go.”  
“I’ll call every day. More, if you want.” His words started to rush. “You can call whenever you need me. Even if it’s an unholy hour. I can always visit. I’ll be here whenever you need me. You need, you need to do this. You need to be safe. You need to live like a young adult, to be your own person.”  
“But I don’t want to.”  
“This isn’t the end of anything, Valkyrie. It’s the beginning of new things. China, she needs me, much as she doesn’t want to admit it. I need to stop people coming after you. Help rebuild. You need to rebuild… Yourself. Darquesse is gone, but she’ll haunt you. I’ll just exacerbate that.”  
Valkyrie would not cry again. She stared fiercely at one of Skulduggery’s buttonholes until her eyes stopped burning.  
“Valkyrie…”  
She looked up.  
“I will never leave you.”  
She scrubbed at her face.  
“I love you.”  
He leaned forward, then back, as if hesitating.  
“And I you.”  
Valkyrie took a deep breath, forced it out, and then leaned up, kissed him on the cheek.  
“Okay. You have to go. I have to unpack. Goodbye.”  
She hugged him once more and then stepped back.   
“China’s probably having a heart attack at the kitchen,” she added, forcing a smile.  
“I don’t doubt it.” Skulduggery opened her room door, and paused at the threshold.   
“Stay safe. Make friends. Be happy.”  
And then he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

Valkyrie had just finished putting up her meagre personal effects on the pinboard when there was a knock on her bedroom door.

“Hello?” A high voice called.

Valkyrie opened it to find a tiny brunette with a wide smile. 

“Hi! I’m from 23d?” she said, sticking out her hand for Valkyrie to shake. “I’m Emily!”

“Valk - er, erie,” Valkyrie coughed.

“Hmm?”

“Oh, sorry, Valerie. My name’s Valerie.”

“Oh! Nice name! My name’s Emily. I’m from Sheffield. What about you?”

“Oh, Dublin,” Valkyrie said, a little taken aback. The girl nodded.

“Cool! I’m studying Drama.”

“History.”

Emily nodded in approval. “Listen, Valerie, none of us have got any food or anything, so we were going to go out for pizza tonight? I have a second year friend here, he knows somewhere cheap. And there’s a party this evening, if you wanted to come out with us?”

“That sounds fun,” Valkyrie said cautiously. “What kind?”

“Oh, it’s at the campus bar, we got given flyers. Shall we meet in the flat kitchen at six and go out? Pizza and then the bar?”

That was in an hour. 

“Okay,” Valkyrie nodded. Emily smiled. “Great! See you then!”

 

———

 

Valkyrie lay in bed, unable to summon the energy to find her pyjamas.

 Her flatmates, Emily, Jack, Hannah and Maria, were all nice. The campus bar had been a little scary, as had the hordes of freshers, and she’d drank the drinks her flatmates had pressed on her with a little too much vigour. He head was buzzing unpleasantly. Around her, the room spun slightly.

Eventually she mustered up the energy to lurch around the room, looking for where she’d put them. She threw off the dress, brushed her teeth, and fell back into bed. She turned off the light. 

 

————

 

She was Darquesse again. Darquesse swooped down, skimming the wavelets of the black night sea. She touched down on the pier in Haggard, and walked up toward Stephanie’s house. She appeared in Alice’s bedroom, watched her sleeping. She crept into her bedroom, saw the impostor sleeping with the Sceptre tucked under her pillow. She left, bored, and flew in a spiral away from the house, back to the clouds. Valkyrie could do nothing but watch.

 

——------

 

The first thing Valkyrie did the next morning was sign up for the gym. 

There was a fresher’s fair, and at eleven she rolled out of bed and ventured down. She still had a carrier bag of snacks from the long car journey, and munched on a breakfast bar as she ambled down to the courtyard where it was being held, a little chilly. She wished she’d put on her leather jacket before she left the flat.

There were societies for beer brewing, and knitting, and anime, and film. Valkyrie signed up to that one before she could stop herself with memories of Lord of the Rings marathons with Tanith, or classic movies at Skulduggery’s house. She also signed up to a kickboxing class.

When she got to the gym’s stand, the musclebound guy at the stall looking her up and down. 

“Swimming membership?” he asked. 

“Er, no. Full membership, thanks.” 

He looked unimpressed. 

“It’s a lot of money, if you’re not going to get full use out of it.”

“And who says I won’t?

He held up his hands in surrender. “All right, all right. Sign here.”

She took the clipboard with a little more force than necessary and signed, and handed over the fee. 

 

——

 

“Let’s all introduce each other, shall we? Ask the person next to you about their hobbies, their favourite books, why they want to study history. Then we’ll feedback as a group.”

The seminar leader sat down, looking pleased. 

Valkyrie turned to the blonde girl next to her.

“Hi, I’m Valerie.”

“Anna. Nice to meet you. I love your accent.”

“Thanks.” Valkyrie felt colour rise to her face.

“So, favourite hobbies?”

Anna made a face. “I hate that question. I don’t have a specific hobby, I’m not a private school girl who does ballet. I like…. Hmm. Reading terrible fantasy novels.”

“Like Harry Potter?”

“Yeah, and Tamora Pierces and Ursula Le Guin and stuff. I write a bit, too. What about you?”

It was Valkyrie’s turn to squirm.

“I’m not really sure, either… Uh, I like Netflix and martial arts?”

Anna snorted. “This is ridiculous! It’s like she,” she pointed at their teacher, “has signed us all up for speed dating or something.”

Valkyrie liked Anna. She didn’t seem as awed by university as some of the others did, hanging on every word of the lectures or the loudmouthed, pretentious boys in their seminar who read war strategy books and liked Shakespeare a little bit too much.

Valkyrie put on a mock-serious voice, tapping her notebook. 

“Hmm, interesting, Miss Anna. And, please, the readers would love to know - what is the award-winning fantasy author’s favourite three books?”

Anna laughed and laughed until she had to be quieted down by the teacher. Valkyrie could do this.

 

————

 

Valkyrie still had the dreams. Her brain conjured up hour after hour of imagined travels around the Irish countryside, Darquesse in control. She didn’t always kill people, but she would play with mages sent after her to take her down like a cat with a mouse, and then she’d strike, and obliterate them after she’d had her fun.

 One night Valkyrie was treated to a play by play of Darquesse taking down an entire mountain in France, and she woke up dripping wet, bedclothes tangled around her.

 

——

 

god i hate waking up early for lectures

_Stop complaining. You don’t even have me to keep you up until 3am doing casework._

but its terrible my flatmates judge me for making midnight snacks 

_So they should._

miss you

also, what do i have to promise to get you to not use netflix in the evenings i am soooo close to finishing house of cards and I can never watch it no spoilers

_I wouldn’t dream of it._

How are things in ireland

_Better._

When can I come back

_I don’t know._

Going to sleep now

_Sweet dreams. I miss you too._


	4. Chapter 4

“Hey! Valerie, hey!”

Valkyrie was walking back from the library, furiously texting Skulduggery about the pathetic rugby playing twat she’d punched out at the gym, when a voice caught her attention.

It was Liam, from her Medieval Sources class.

“Hey,” she replied, smiling widely at him. Liam was funny, and had large brown eyes and a shock of black hair to match hers. She liked him.

He finished jogging toward her and fell into step. 

“Going out tonight?” he asked. 

Valkyrie shook her head. “Nah, hadn’t planned on it…”

Liam bugged his eyes in mock-shock. “No! It’s nearly the end of fresher’s week and I haven’t heard you talk about a single party you went to, Kane. That’s poor.”

Valkyrie smiled again, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Between class, the gym and the library, she’d barely spoken to anyone. She didn’t like to be reminded of her failure to socialise with anyone born after the 19th century.

Liam saw the look on her face and dimmed somewhat. 

“I was gonna invite you to a flat party and then a night out in central london, but I mean, if you don’t go out…”

Valkyrie stopped.

“No, that’s great. That’s great! Sorry, I was in a world of my own.” She tried out a smile again. “What time?”

“Ah, we were thinking nine?” He named one of the campus accommodation buildings. “Here, let me give you my number and I’ll text to confirm, just in case.” They swapped numbers. 

“Hey, do you have facebook?” he asked.

Valkyrie didn’t have facebook. The reflection had facebook. Stephanie Edgeley had facebook. But Valkyrie no longer used that account. 

“I actually wasn’t allowed one at home…”

Liam looked at her in pity.

“You should get one. It’ll make meeting people a lot easier.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.” She nodded. “See you at nine?”

“Alright!” And with that, Liam was gone.

Valkyrie needed facebook.

 

\---—

 

i need to set up a facebook!!

 _Why_?

to meet students, apparently

 _Hmm_.

i’ll look like such a loser! i wont have any friends

_Don’t any of the younger mag_

_Ah, right. I see._

what am i gonna do?

_You can’t add any of Stephanie’s friends, obviously._

obviously

_Make a new one, lie about why. Pretend it was a technological thing._

sneaky

i like it

this means i need photos!!!!

once again, weird. i cant have loads of pics of me with china and everyone they are all hot adults

gonna look sketchy

_Damn, I see. Sorry._

 

_\---—-_

 

The lights of Liam’s flat were harsh, playing on the shadows of the dusty carpet and illuminating just how shabby the plastered walls were. 

Valkyrie’s dress was pale blue, and she suspected China had picked it to match her own eyes. Typical, really. Valkyrie didn’t want to know how much it cost, but she wasn’t happy about the possibility of getting beer spilt on it. She would just have to be careful. Liam was wearing a nice sweater in a dark green, and chatted freely about the essay they’d been set that week. Beside her, a plastic bag of drinks set, warming up to room temperature.

The flat bell buzzed, and Liam excused himself to let people in. Val had been the first to arrive. She decided to open a can of beer, holding it far away from herself in case it fizzed up, and then slurped up some of the foam that did threaten to slop over the top of the can.

In came in two girls and a second guy who she vaguely recognised. They introduced themselves - Valkyrie did know some of them, they all did History - and everyone started to get out their respective drinks.

“What about a drinking game?” The girl beside Valkyrie asked. She had a dark fringe and dark eyes and sat at the very edge of the laminate wood chair. “Ring of fire?”

“Ooh, great idea, Steph,” the redheaded girl opposite her said. Valkyrie stiffened for a second before remembered that was the gothic-looking girl’s name. Valkyrie tried out a sheepish smile. 

“Uh, hate to play the country bumpkin, but what’s that?”

For the millionth time, everyone was looking at her in astonishment. Valkyrie hated it. 

“Val, you really need to get out more,” Liam said, grinning at her from Valkyrie’s other side. He was sitting a little closer than Steph was, but Val didn’t mind. 

“What do you think I’m doing here?” Valkyrie asked, mock-annoyed.

“Point,” Liam conceded, and started to explain the various drinking games to her, gesturing with his hands and his drinks, making a bit of a mess. Valkyrie laughed when he told her about the first time he’d gone to a pub and had had to sneak out because he was too drunk to carry on the night,  and felt a little more at ease.

 

\----—

 

It was bloody freezing.

They were waiting outside the long, long line into the student union club, posh-looking stone churches and libraries crowding in on every other side. Every so often a fluorescent security would walk up and down the line sternly, causing everyone to shove a little and push into the metal barriers, which were even colder. This is why she didn’t dress like China, Valkyrie thought rebelliously. Black jackets, trousers and boots were warm and practical.

For a second she thought about how she was turning into Tanith, how much China would disapprove, and then she remembered that Tanith was gone, and sighed a little quick breath of surprise when the grief hit. It had been years, but it still hurt.

“What’s wrong?” asked Liam beside her, concerned. The rest of their group had been a little less aggressive and were stuck a few feet behind them in the queue, but Liam and Valkyrie had used elbows and gotten up a little closer to the front.

Valkyrie tried not to shiver. 

“Nothing,” she said, faux-brightly. “I’m good! Just nervous, I guess, haha. Being a sheltered bumpkin and all.” She stuck her tongue out. “Thanks for that nickname, by the way.’

Liam had the grace to look embarrassed, at least. “Sorry, it’s just weird. I thought the Irish were all about drinking!”

Valkyrie thought of the last few memories from the reflection, the snippets of her former classmates boasting about parties they’d been to and offering Stephanie drink.

“Most of us, yeah,” she said, “But I had… Other things on my mind.”

A guarded look came up on his face.

“Not in a judgemental way!” Valkyrie said hurriedly. “Overbearing family, stuff like that.”

Liam nodded, looked up past her. “The line’s moving again!” he said, but it was too late. A group of broadly-built boys behind them - rugby players - pushed forward eagerly, and Valkyrie stumbled a little, unused to the impractical shoes. Liam caught her, an arm thrown around her waist, and she looked up at him, smiling. 

“Thanks.” She righted herself, and he let her go immediately, as if nothing had happened. Valkyrie wanted to laugh as she remembered when she’d purposefully fallen to elicit this exact reaction from Hansard Kray, then sobered again. She had to stop thinking about the mages back home, when she probably wouldn’t see any of them ever again. She was stuck here, and so, she’d better make the most of it…

She smiled brightly back at Liam again.

She may as well have a fun evening.

 

\------

 

“I can’t believe it was £3 for coat check! Ridiculous, right!” 

By her side, Liam was fuming. They’d finally gotten in, Valkyrie warmed by both Liam’s chatter and her own excitement about the night. There would be dancing, and drinking, and more dancing. She hadn’t gone dancing since Fletcher, and that had been ruined by Remnants. Everything she’d ever tried to do as a normal teenager had been, up until now, and this go-round she was going to make sure everything was perfect.

“Hmm, yeah, ridiculous,” she replied, distracted. “Where are the others? Steph and that lot?”

Liam tried to look surprised, and craned his neck around as if to search for them, but Valkyrie was unconvinced. She smiled inside.

“We can always find them later, right?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Liam agreed, a little too soon. “Drinks?”

“Now that is a good idea.” They made their way to the least-crowded of the three bars and ordered a rum and coke each. Liam wouldn’t let Valkyrie pay, despite her belated offers to. She was too used to hanging around with Skulduggery, she had chastised herself, but then she remembered that people bought each other drinks, and felt a little less guilty.

The building was set up haphazardly, with a main dancefloor that spilled through two rooms and a seating area beyond.

They tried dancing for a bit, but Liam wasn’t very good at it, and Valkyrie didn’t really dance for other people. A few more drinks later they gave up entirely and went to the seating area to talk. There was a balcony looking out onto the London skyline  and they moved onto it, standing side by side, hip to shoulder. Valkyrie wasn’t sure if she felt warmer than earlier due to the drinks or Liam’s body heat. She usually only stood next to Skulduggery.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Liam asked.

The lights were winking in the dark, and the buildings were all lit up like christmas trees. It looked like Dublin. Valkyrie started to wonder what flying above it all would be like, then stopped herself, pinching her arm for good measure.

“It’s gorgeous. Sorry, I just need to go to the loo,” she said, smiling at Liam apologetically.

She practically ran into the tail end of the queue for the toilets.

She was being pathetic. Everything reminded her of Skulduggery, of their work, their adventures — but that was all she’d done for the past six years, wasn’t it? That had been her normal. Now, this was. She wished she could text Tanith or China for advice. She was almost certain Liam was flirting very heavily with her. She liked him, and there was nothing stopping her this time, no Fletcher or apocalypse or anything like that, but still she felt uncomfortable.

Before she thought better of it, and before she realised that the only reason she was doing this was because of the fact she wasn’t quite sober, Valkyrie called China. It was only eleven, she reasoned, as her mobile rang and rang. China wouldn’t mind, would she?

“Hello, Valkyrie, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Under the calm voice, China sounded irritated, but only a little.

Valkyrie couldn’t speak for a moment, dry-mouthed. She coughed.

“Um, China, sorry for calling-“

“It’s fine.”

“Can I ask some advice?”

“You’ve gotten this far; I suspect you’ll be asking me anyway.”

“Right, yeah. So, do you have any dating advice? I’m not, well, I don’t have the best track record.”

China laughed a little, quietly.

“You never had a problem before.”

“I never… I haven’t met new people my age in a long time.”

“True.”

“And something feels a little off.”

“Is it the person? Male or female?”

“Male.”

“Ah, yes. Well, is it him?”

“I don’t think so…”

“Remember, dear, university is a time of hedonism and debauchery, and, oh, all those sorts of things. If you want to do something, do it. It doesn’t have to be important. It’s not like you’re finding a new partner, is it?” She sounded like she was laughing again.

“Okay, right… Okay. Thanks, bye, China.”

“Think nothing of it.”

She hung up.

Valkyrie took a deep breath and marched back out of the toilets. She found Liam, still standing out by the balcony, checking his phone and looking unhappy.

“Sorry, the queue was huge,” she explained. “Do you want to dance some more?”

“I’m alright here, actually,” Liam said, looking happier as he pocketed his phone.

“Me too,” Valkyrie said relievedly. They went to sit at one of the little balcony tables. 

Liam started to talk, picking up where they’d left off, complaining about each other’s accommodation buildings and making fun of their lecturers. Valkyrie laughed so loudly at one of his impressions of the TA they attracted dirty looks from a group of chilled-looking people a few tables across, and Liam collapsed into laughter too. 

“Sorry!” they both said, again and again. “So sorry!”

“We haven’t had a drink for ages and we haven’t really danced,” Valkyrie said when they’d both calmed down, wiping tears from her eyes. “Do know what I could do with? Macdonalds.”

Liam’s eyes went wide. “Valerie, you’re a genius.”

Valkyrie looked smug.

“Let’s go, I could murder a burger,” He said, gathering up his phone and wallet and cloakroom ticket, all spread out from where he’d been showing Valkyrie his flat’s floorplan in order to explain how he’d found an exchange student bundled up in their cleaning closet.

Valkyrie’s stomach flipped at the mention of murder and she gulped a quick breath.

“Yeah, let’s.” She picked up her own stuff. Liam leant over as if to steal her mobile from her, looked at her.

“First though,” he murmured, and leaned in, and kissed her.

 

\------

 

Darquesse swooped down, dropping like a stone onto the tarmac in front of Skulduggery. It cracked from the force of it.

“I know it’s useless to ask you to stop,” he said, fingers playing with the brim on the hat he held in his hands. 

“I know you don’t see what you’re doing wrong,” he added as she slowly walked toward him, and then he set the hat down on his car’s bonnet. The summer sun gleamed on his bone white head.

“Better make this short,” Darquesse said, with a nod at him. “I know you hate to bleach.”

“ _Valkyrie_  knows I hate to bleach,” Skulduggery replied sharply, before he could stop himself.

“Valkyrie and I are the same person, Skulduggery. I  _am_  Valkyrie. We’re the same. Just like a remnant, only, better. There’s no separating us.”

Skulduggery seemed to be wringing his hands, and then she saw that he was taking off his gloves. The leather was dirty, as was the rest of him. It looked cracked and dry. He placed the gloves by the hat, neatly as always.

“I am Valkyrie, you know,” Darquesse repeated, watching him interestedly as he unbuttoned his jacket and took off his shoes. 

“I know everything she knew. I’ve felt everything she’s ever felt. I know her thoughts-- “ she stopped, distracted, as he finished taking off his shirt and socks, placing everything in a neat pile.

“I like the same… Things. I like mozzarella dippers from maccas and caramel frappucinos and action movies, just like she does. There’s no use trying to pretend I’m not her. You can’t even try to hurt me, can you?” She cocked her head. “What are you doing?”

“If you’re going to kill me,” he said, quietly, a skeleton with no clothes in the middle of an Irish country road, “I’d rather Ghastly’s clothes were left out of it. They’re one of the last pieces in existence, you know.”

He turned from her, straightened the clothes out, washed and dried them with his magic. They were still tattered and torn, but he plucked at the folds as if they were as good as new.

At last, he turned to her.

“I’m ready.”

Darquesse looked at him, the strange man before her that Valkyrie Cain had loved. Should he die? Should he be left a pile of bones by the roadside, or should Lord Vile take his place.

“Your choice,” she said quietly, and held up her hand. A black mist descended, like all the light had left the world above her palm, and then she held a black globe. Skulduggery nodded his head. She tossed it to him and it became a net, enfolding him , every limb encased in black. It formed gauntlets, grieves, vanbraces, corselet, pauldrons. A dark knight stood before her, and she and Lord Vile rose into the sky.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Valkyrie woke up in a bed that wasn’t her own for the second time that week. She had just been about to scream, she knew, at the dream she’d just had. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she made out a bedside table with her phone on it. It was five o’clock in the morning. Frantically, her half-asleep mind typed out a text.

skulduggery  
Skulduggery  
Yes?

She sighed in relief and dropped the phone, went back to sleep, not caring about the warm body next to her, not caring where she was. He was safe. It had just been a dream.  
—  
Movement beside her woke Valkyrie up.   
“Val? Val, it’s nearly one,” the voice above her said.  
Valkyrie turned, smiling. “S….Liam,” she said, seeing who it was, remembering her fake name. “Sorry, I’m a late sleeper.”  
Liam squinted at her. “It’s fine. Can you pass me my contacts? They’re the white capsule thing by the blurry thing, I think it’s a clock?”  
Valkyrie fetched them.   
“Thanks. Do you want some breakfast, or…”  
Valkyrie didn’t know what to say, what to do. Was she supposed to leave now? She couldn’t remember where she’d put her clothes, and couldn’t see them after a quick scan of the little room. Liam didn’t seem to have his either. What would China do?  
Keep it casual, Valkyrie thought. Cool, casual, very casual. She could do this.  
“I’m not actually hungry,” Valkyrie lied, “But if you wouldn’t mind me making some coffee or something, that would be great! Then I might go to the library to work on that essay we have due in tomorrow. Have you done it?”  
Liam looked at her, horror-struck. “I forgot.”  
“Well, you’re welcome to join me -” Valkyrie continued before she could stop herself. What was she doing? - “But it’s no big deal. It’s only a thousand words, right?”  
“Right,” he said, sinking back into the bed. “Uh, I am very hungover.”   
“Do you want some water or something?” Valkyrie asked. “Not that I know where your kitchen is, but…”  
She was doing great, Valkyrie thought. Casually talking, nothing weird at all. It was practically a sleepover.  
“It’s fine,” Liam said. “Give me a minute and I will get some coffee or whatever.”  
“Okay,” Valkyrie said, and hunted for her clothes.  
——  
are you proud of me?  
Let me guess; you took my advice, soused as you were. Was it good?  
hmmmmm  
Hmmmmm?  
i think so.   
Goin to tell Skulduggery?  
*Going ??  
—  
Valkyrie’s head was pounding, and the ground floor of the library wasn’t helping her in the slightest. She’d downed what felt like five pints of water as soon as she’d gotten back to her flat, cooked a huge omelette and sat around watching Mad Men for a bit. Anna had texted her, asking her if she wanted to go out tomorrow night. Right now Valkyrie wasn’t sure if she’d ever drink again. She hadn’t even been that drunk— she remembered the whole night — but the headache was awful anyway.  
She still hadn’t texted China back. Why would she tell Skulduggery about Liam? It wasn’t as if they were going out. Why did China think she would tell him? Should she?  
All these questions were making her brain hurt.   
She’d only been at university a week, but already she’d learned so much, done so much stuff. It wasn’t as fun as she thought it would be, though. It felt like she’d emigrated from somewhere, never to return, and had to adjust to living in a different world.   
London had much better supermarkets, though, and they delivered Dominos on-campus. Valkyrie didn’t mind that.  
She rested her head on her laptop and groaned softly into the keys. “Essay, essay, go away, come another sober day,” she murmured into the space bar.


End file.
